Melanie Page

In general, America is an individualistic culture. We value doing things ourselves, independence, and owning things (picture all the “trespassers will be shot on sight” signs. If something goes right, it’s thanks to our greatness. If something goes wrong, it is the fault of another person or group.

However, Deaf culture is collectivist. People share information, support Deaf-owned businesses, and support each other on their journeys. Recently, I volunteered to serve food to help raise money to send a local Deaf woman to Germany where the 2023 Olympic bowlers will compete.

In high school I studied calligraphy in art class, so I made the posters. Because more volunteers were needed, I brought along my spouse, who only knows a little ASL. He ended up holding one sign advertising the food we were selling to raise money.

I served food and communicated with hearing, hard-of-hearing, and D/deaf customers, and I relayed messages to people who are Deaf and hearing doing the grilling outside.

In total, we volunteered for five hours, and as we drove home, I admitted to my spouse that it felt like the whole day was practically gone. Come Monday morning, would we look back and say we “did” anything that weekend, anything relaxing or fun? In my head, I realized the American in me wanted to say, “No, we spent all day helping someone else. We didn’t do anything for us.”

But just because I was raised in one culture doesn’t mean I cannot repeatedly face it, tell it “you’re wrong,” and think a bit more like the Deaf community. I don’t want to only support other people when things are hard. What I mean is, typically, I attend hospice benefits, or eat a dinner for someone raising money for medical bills. If we only support each other at some of our lowest points, do we feel joy in that support, or only pity?

Volunteering for a fundraiser to send a Deaf woman to Germany for the 2023 Olympics is a moment of celebration, one that is uplifting and positive. I know this for sure because she hugged me so hard before I left! And for that reason, I did “do” something this weekend, and it was totally fun, fulfilling, and worth it. Once again, I am humble that the Deaf community welcomes me in to participate with their collectivist culture.